One of the most interesting latitudes of law (or lawtitude, henceforth) is humour. Yes, there is humour in the black and white. This brand of humour – Legal, is fast catching up, even amongst the non-lawyers. Here’s a true-to-the-letter relay of what transpired in an Arbitration proceeding:
Character sketch:
The Advocate, a Barrister, with (a very attractive) clipped British accent (even after years of leaving the Brit land). Takeaways from the conversation: Sharp. Quick-witted. Polite.
The Arbitrator, a (very endearing) retired High Court Judge. Good-natured.
The Audience: Myself. A lawyer. With humour. Modest? Yes.
Here goes:
Advocate: (After a continuous stretch of aggressive submissions but without much response from the Arbitrator) Sir, I hope you are following me.
Arbitrator: Yes, I am following you. Please continue.
Advocate: (A look of unbelief, hesitating to continue, willing to repeat) (A pause)
Arbitrator: (Gauging the look) I am following you. You just made the following submission ….. (Reading out from his painstakingly noted points during the submissions). Please continue.
Advocate: (Slightly embarrassed) Sir, I guess, one of the most debatable topics is who is better? A talking Judge or a Judge who doesn’t talk.
Arbitrator: (With a bemused smile) You pre-judge me but don’t want me to pre-judge you!
Advocate: Sir, I repeat only for my satisfaction, not yours!
Arbitrator: Finally speaking, I am, eh!
Advocate: Yes sir. You’ve realised that that’s the only way to shut me up!
Arbitrator: No no, only appeasing you and your feelings that Oh! What a stupid Arbitrator, doesn’t understand, doesn’t speak! (Laughs)
Advocate: Now you’ve actually effectively shut me up! (Pretends to be Totally embarrassed and continues with the Submissions, once again!!)
LAWTITUDE 